FUTURE MEMOIR

a little something for my crackbaby children to read one day.

jamieschuh@gmail.com

High point: In first grade I was moved into the reading class for super smart kids. This made me feel totally superior to my classmates (see also: first day of creative writing class in college when professor took me aside afterwards and extolled my virtuous gifts for the written word, etc etc, such and such, no big deal).

Low point: In fifth grade I was tested for the Gifted and Talented program. I remember doing some word problems, which I fucked up, and then, like, having to talk about shapes. I probably fucked that up, too. Anyway, the proctors made it very clear that I was a person who would never ever be admitted into West Freehold Elementary’s Gifted and Talented program. Actually, I had another creative writing teacher later on who said I would amount to nothing more than a waitress, probably. So, education.

2 years ago