FUTURE MEMOIR
a little something for my crackbaby children to read one day.
jamieschuh@gmail.com
Beast
As I have mentioned before, I used to have a cool aquarium in my room. It was filled with a bunch of little fish, and those guys that stick to the side of the tank and eat all of the algae or whatever. At one point I thought it would be awesome to get a pair of tiny angelfish. They were small, so it was cool. They eventually grew a little bigger and ate all of the rest of the fish before turning on each other, so I guess that wasn’t really cool. Anyway, the one that was left kept getting bigger and bigger, even though I had lost interest by now and only fed him when I remembered to, and never ever cleaned the tank. I forgot what his original name was, but he was so huge and scary that I just started calling him ‘Beast.’ I really just wanted Beast to die so that I could get some new fish, or maybe a turtle.
Anyway, the day after I finally cleaned his tank, Beast did indeed die. He lived for about two years. I had no idea what to do in terms of getting his dead body out of the tank, as he was way bigger than my dinky little net. I left that one up to my dad to work out.
