FUTURE MEMOIR

a little something for my crackbaby children to read one day.

jamieschuh@gmail.com

1) During my first visit to the orthodontist, the assistant tried to take a mold of my teeth, but I threw up on her.

2) Once, my orthodontist said, “You’re looking handsome today!” I had short hair, and okay, I was a tomboy. I have an androgynous name. Anyway, I didn’t correct him.

3) At one point, I had those awful rubber bands that kept my jaw half closed. I was talking to a boy I liked in school and one of the rubber bands snapped and shot him the face.

2 years ago